Accept that things are the way they are

It is very tempting to ‘have an opinion’, especially if you are new to the organisation. ‘How can they arrange it like this?’ ‘Why can’t they get this done?’ Or when in the past something unacceptable has happened like fraud, or a wrong choice according to the ‘standards’ of today’s society.

The effect of ‘having an opinion’ on something is that you exclude the event or those involved. After all, it is only human to exclude an event based on judgement, frustration or shame. This can be an event of the past, but also, for example, an upcoming future change. However, the opposite will be the result, because there is nothing that will let itself be excluded.

When you express your judgement, people tend to become defensive. The relaxation that you so desperately need to allow the potential within the organisation to flow, stagnates.

The systemic leader therefore has to make the opposite movement, namely that of accepting that things are the way they are. When you are able to accept that things are the way they are, you provide yourself and others with room for curiosity, room to think. It does not mean that you resign yourself to a situation or that you agree with everything – not at all! It is the base for a change that is free from exclusion, feelings of guilt, resentment. And it is therefore an essential characteristic of a systemic leader.

Acceptance means that we have come as far as was possible. If we were able to do better, we would have done so. Today we have the opportunity to make a new choice. It keeps you free from judgements concerning the past – and claims on the future. This makes you incredibly free, as it does not trigger any survival or defence mechanisms.

As a systemic leader you receive an incredible amount of information regarding the organisation when you completely open yourself up to what the organisation is like in the present and how it thrives. And, as there is no need for resistance or shame, people remain available with their potential.